Parents charge 16-year-old $300 in rent, retaliate when he asserts his independence: 'They're trying to have it both ways'

Author image for JR Atkinson
JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor
Apr 28, 2024 4:00 PM EDT

Living at home can be a blessing and a curse. You get to be close to your family and receive their support, but it usually comes at a price (like micromanaging, or struggling with independence). Defining one's relationship with their parents as one gets older is a tough terrain to navigate. Parents sometimes have difficulty letting go of their parental duties, and kids can stumble when learning how to treat their parents. They're not quite your friend but not quite your parent. The people I see who do it the most successfully have good working relationships with their parents, no matter if they're home or not. 

But even the most well-adjusted families will hit some roadblocks on the way. Like the family in this recent Reddit post who ran into some tension when their son was beginning to chart his own path. And when money is involved, it's an even greater hurdle. Read on for the details. 

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    Cheezburger Image 9911811584
    via Drew Coffman
  • 02
    r/AmltheAsshole u/AggravatingBat314 • 23h AITA for "being disrespectful" and telling my parents "good luck with that" when they tried to ground me?
    via u/AggravatingBat314
  • 03
    I live at home while going to university. I'm in my final year and I have a job lined up after I graduate. My parents have been charging me rent since I was 16. I have a small company that makes me about $60,000 a year. I started it in high school. It is one of the reasons I graduated early from high school and why I got attention from recruiters. My parents said that since I was earning adult money I could take in adult responsibilities.
    via u/AggravatingBat314
  • 04
    I thought that was fair. So I paid for all my own stuff starting at age 16. Not university. I got a scholarship. And the rent they charged me was minor. $300 a month. But I basically considered my room to be completely mine after that. I kept it tidy because I like it that way. But they had no say in when I cleaned it. When I did my laundry, other than to not do it at a time when I would disturb the family for example 3 AM. I bought food for myself and I ate when I wanted.
    via u/AggravatingBat314
  • 05
    They tried to say I was separating myself from the family but I saw it more as having my own schedule. This year for spring break I went down to Mexico with friends. My parents were upset because they were hosting a big Easter family get together.
    via u/AggravatingBat314
  • 06
    When I got back they said I was behaving badly by not being around for a family gathering. I said it was my last spring break in university and that I was not responsible for their schedule. They said I was grounded and I laughed and said good luck with that. I went to my room and locked the door. They tried banging on it for my attention but I'm done.
    via u/AggravatingBat314
  • 07
    My grandfather came over to talk to me later. He is the one helped me get my company started and he is always there for me. He said that I was to my parents when they were trying to be there for me. I asked him how much rent he charged my mom when she lived at home. He said it was ridiculous to think he would charge his kids rent. I told him that I had been paying rent for four years. He went into the house and I herd a fight. When he came out he said that I need to treat my parents with more re
    via u/AggravatingBat314
  • 08
    I'm avoiding my parents for now and I'm renting on Airbnb right now until I graduate. I took everything that was important to me and I left $600 for the last two months I had planned on being there. They keep calling me but I am currently getting ready to move for my new job. I don't have the energy to deal with them.
    via u/AggravatingBat314
  • 09
    HUNGWHITEBO125 22h Enthusiast [5] ...they tried to ground a grown adult...who pays their own bills and works full time...? Yeah youre NTA not by a long shot but...why dont's you just move out...? Legit don't see a reason for you to stay there
    via u/HUNGWHITEBO125
  • 10
    AggravatingBat314 OP. 22h Rent was cheap.
    via u/AggravatingBat314
  • 11
    HUNGWHITEBOI25. 22h Enthusiast [5] mhmm is it worth dealing with these people though? You seem like you have a good head on your shoulders, i'd call it quits with them.
    via u/HUNGWHITEBOI25
  • 12
    4-ton-mantis • 22h Sometimes people give their parents more chances than they deserve to stay in their life. This may be part of it.
    via u/4-ton-mantis
  • 13
    ΝΤΑ Alix_Senters • 22h - You pay rent and support yourself financially at that point, you're essentially a tenant with the right to come and go as you please. It's bizarre that they're trying to ground an adult who contributes to the household, not as a dependent child, but as a contributing adult. It seems like your parents are having trouble transitioning from their roles as parental figures with a level of control to landlords who must respect your autonomy. Going away for spring break was we
    via u/Alix_Senters
  • 14
    suhhhrena ⚫ 21h Yeah the parents wanted to have their cake and eat it too. They wanted to treat OP like a full grown adult at 16, making them pay rent and handle all of their expenses but they also want to treat OP like a child and a dependent. It doesn't work like that. NTA at all and they had it coming to them. Who tf makes their 16 year old pay rent?!
    via u/suhhhrena
  • 15
    NTA... Odd Welcome7940 • 22h They crossed a line they drew in the sand. They treated you like an adult with all the adult responsibilities then wanted to treat you like a kid when it suited them. That doesn't work. When you hand a teen all the responsibility of being an adult some ego always follows. What did they expect? Someday you may look back and nitpick about the exact words you used to respond. I don't know your parents maybe the fully deserved those exact words. Maybe they didn't. Your o
    via u/Odd_Welcome7940
  • 16
    SonOfDadOfSam • 22h NTA - They're trying to have it both ways. Treat you like an adult when it comes to money, and like a child when it suits them. Just tell them they don't get to make you pay for your life AND control it at the same time. They said you were an adult, they should treat you like one.
    via u/SonOfDadOfSam
  • 17
    Chewy-Vuitton44 • 23h NTA - Personally, I think its crazy that they're charging you rent (like you would an adult) and then have the audacity to A. ground you (like you would a child), and B. try to tell you where you can and can't be if you want to travel. It sounds like you have a stable income, and assuming you're responsible with your money - moving out and going to the Airbnb was smart. Take some space before things could get rocky. You're entitled to your feelings - and it sounds like they
    via u/Chewy-Vuitton44
  • 18
    Quick-Possession-245 22h No. I was not separating from my family at 16. They started charging me rent at 16. Also my company made $12,000 the first year. With this comment, NTA. They should not have been charging you rent at 16 when your business was so new and not as profitable. $12,000 is not adult money. And, they were not paying for your university. In many ways, it seems that through charging you rent they separated you from the family. Even if you went to university at 16, you were still a
    via u/Quick-Possession-245

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living at home kids reddit story relationships parenting rent parenting story independence reddit thread Reddit raising kids money Parenting Fail college college student children
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